- Thanksgiving break = Nosa has lots of free time
- Thierry Henry needs to be shot or something. Ok, maybe not hat harsh but the Irish got robbed. I am still not for video replays but I am all for retroactive punishments. Henry should be suspended for 5 competitive international matches. If Sepp Blatter wasn't too busy blowing himself, he would have done this already. You know what, Sepp? If you blow yourself long enough, you might just taste your cum. Stupid POS.
- I read the match report for the Spurs-Wigan game. If I wasn't sleeping I would have caught that shit. It sounded like the Wigan players didn't show up. It was like the training mode on FIFA where you play against the opposing keeper. SMH
- Speaking of sleep, I missed the United game because I decided to cuddle with the girlfriend. Yes, I can make sacrifices, you fuckers!! I saw the goals (yes, the first one too) and read the match report and stat sheets. Looked like we played well. Lemme rephrase that, Everton played like ass crap. No, I still will not accept the fact that Fletchfuck is a football genius. I agree that he has improved and is probably our best midfielder these days, which is sad, but I will not accept that he is a football genius.
- As for United, I think we should stick with a 4-5-1 ala Chel$ki game. No, you will not get my comments on that game. NEVARRRR. Berbagod can play target man with Rooney in the hole. Anderson can be Rooney's backup for that role and Flecthfuck, Carrick and Scholes can rotate as anchors. Oh my....that sounds like something Rafa Beneathus would do. I'm starting to think like him...the humanity!!!
- The LA Galaxy lost last night. Didn't watch the game because the MLS sucks monkey balls.
- The Steelahs lost. ::sadface:: Large Benjamin had a concussion too. ::sadface::^1000
- My fantasy team is in the shitter. 4 straight losses and I am down to a 6-5 record. So much for that 6-1 start and dreams of spending the $100 loot. Ronnie Brown done for the season = my team got fucked in the ass.
- The Ags won this weekend. Dismantling Baylor 38-3...WHOOP!!!!!! We are 6-5 now an bowl eligible as it stands. We play Texas on Turkey day and hopefully we buttfuck their national championship hopes.
- I got my ring 2 Fridays ago.
Aren't those the manliest fingahs you've evar seen?
Girl: How come when a guy sleeps with more than one girl, he is a legend, but when a girl does it, she is a slut?
Friend: if a key opens many locks, it is a master key. if a lock is opened by many keys, it is a shitty lock the end...haha
United weren’t particularly decisive today but I’ll take the points. Obertan didn’t really wow me either.
If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.
-Khalil Gibran
I am bitter, angry, disgusted, and frustrated.
My right hand hurts. The knuckles from punching the wall and my palms from slapping the table.
My voice is hoarse from yelling expletives at the TV.
FUCK Rio Ferdinand. I hope he gets butt raped in some fucking alley. Maybe Jonny Evans should get the nod anyway. First Bellamy and now Torres…
That Marriner prat can go eat a fucking dick. Thanks for making Carragher look like Cannavaro.
I had a feeling it would happen…Liverpool had everything to lose and they responded well. I cant believe I miss FletchFuck.
This is straight bullishit. United should have won that fucking game. It was there for the taking.
I put up a new post on SNL/H
Did I seriously put up the last post here?
Sugabelly and Melloyel are definitely slacking, on the realz.
Anyway, I have decided to take time out of my highly important normal life to put up a post here. Normally, I wouldn’t be doing this shit. I’d probably be busy banging hot chicks, checking out my fucking awesome fantasy team, being awesome, and finding the cure for AIDS, k’nahmean?
Did you know you could put a comma before “and” when listing shit? Like seriously, how come my English teachers never told me that. Mr. Chukwudifu, wherever you are, you fail for not telling about this linguistic wizardry.
Wait, where was I?
I need to start taking some ADD medication because I keep going off topic. Like WTF?
Oh yeah…I remember now. I was talking about how you people need to be happy that your royal awesomeness took time out of his busy schedule to put up a blog post. Considering that fact that Obama’s Nobel peace prize fuckery (you better not get me started on that shit) didn’t bring me out of hiding, you best believe that my topic must be of great importance.
Remember when I complained about not having enough Nigerian tittays on the interweb? Well, shit’s changed since then. Sugbelly put me onto this breakthrough,
Did you see it?
Sideboob, motherfucker!!
That was sideboob!!!
On a side note, that movie seems creepy (Ed note- I watched it on mute so I have no clue wtf is going on). Leaking bloody vaginas? Ain't none of these bitches ever heard of a tampon? SMH!!!
Nigeria is making progress though. We have sure come a long way from dry humping. There’s even a scene with a threesome, can you imagine that shit? It might be arousing but we’ll get there. They just need to realize that storylines are not required for pornos and maybe get some hotter wimmenz. They could get some of those girls you find at owambe parties in England. Wait…you don’t know what an owambe jand party is? Do you live under a rock? Don’t you know the parties with the pictures on facebook and stupid ass names like “exclusive” and “eclipse”? Shit, and I thought I was behind the curve.
BTW, during the threesome bit, was the other girl giving the dude's elbow some head?
iConfuse
Personally, I don't mind the white babe although Sugabelly is probably going to have an issue with it.
What I do hate is that the song has been toned down and the video awful. If there as any justice in this world, the guy who came up with the idea will get punched in the face.
Where did that killer bass go? Maybe I am just deaf.
"Ako mi ti poju" = "my shakara is too much"
Seriously, WHERE THE FUCK IS NAETO C'S SHAKARA?
See original here
...been a minute, eh?
Wale dropped this gem on twitter,
Here's the song he got the sample from,
Do you believe me now? Wale is TEH BESTEST RAPPA EVAR!!!!
So, I came across the following status update by a friend of mine,
Joel ****** is proud of everyone who is finishing school, and hoping lauren kicks some ass on her final manana!
WTF is “manana”?
Seriously, how fucking uber ghey is that shit?
I can understand that you love your woman and shit but in no should your facebook status be dedicated to making a fool out of yourself in the name of love. If I want to show my woman that I love her, I show in private. In the bed, you know…that kind of shit. I don’t go all ghey on my facebook status. Any reasonable thinking woman should leave her man if goes emo with his facebook status game.
You have to keep to keep it real with your facebook game, y’know? Your status is only for like important shit like telling your homeboys that you just took a shower or bragging about how many fatties you’ve banged. Not for shit like, “Ï love you, baby”
Get with it, people. Get fucking with it.
Fuck father's day. Fathers are fucking lame and overrated, call me when something good is on...
...so my ex and I had a "talk" about what caused the split. I aired out my concerns and felt a load kinda sorta ish of my shoulders. I guess the venting helped. Every time we broke up or took a break, about 3 or so in total, I always felt it was my fault.
On her 18th birthday, her ex called her. He said some shit about about waiting for her to turn legal sine he was a pedo fucktard. He was seeing some other chick but she had a kid so he was backing out, i.e. no action. He said he wanted her as more than a friend and she should call him when she was done with me. I guess it piqued her interest and she got all "what if" with it. He then wanted her as a lover when she was in town or something like that, i.e. regular sex once she set foot back home. This was all regular guy nonsense. When a guy starts running a cold streak, he calls up his ex girlfriends and starts cooking up some shit to get sexy time. Look, I'm a guy and I'll run that game when it's needed. I'm being very fucking honest here. Anyhow, she felt she wasn't being fair to me because she was thinking about him in "that" way or I think that's what she said. I'm a bad listener so don't judge me. I remember I had a panic attack that night. I was damn near crying and she wasn't picking my calls. I never thought I'd see the day where I would get a get panic attacks because of a woman. God,I'm such a punk bitch. Speaking of panic attacks, the first time I got one of those was when he called while I was with her. She figured I could hear the conversation so she turned down the volume. Not satisfied, she went to the bathroom. It was like uncontrollable rage. I wanted to smash something but there was nothing to smash. She hung up seeing my discomfort but it still happened. Ohshit...I think I drifted a bit. After we took a break, we decided to get back together because I was a shitty mess without her. I think that was the first time i ever told her that she was the best thing to happen in my life. It became a subsequent means of trying to get her to stay when she was going to leave me.
The second time was when my parents were getting divorced. She got kissed by her ex. She told me about how she dreamt of sex or something like that with him. Normally, a rational human would have cut his losses and called it quits. Well, considering the other fuckery that was going on at that point, I think I needed stability. Christmas sucked but I talked her out of it. I even made sure that I didn't try to force her to choose between both guys. A new year came, we decided to start anew.
A ton a fights later we had our third split. I think it is funny how we fought over the dumbest shit. Like the whole sexy time thing. At beginning of the year, she was like, "NO sexy time". I'm like, "Ok, I can do that." Then each and every time I refused and she got "frustrated", she got mad at me. I pick my battles so I every time I oblige, I mean every guy loves sexy time so don't give me shit. But the next day she would get all regretful about the whole shit and tell me to stick to my "NO" next time. I drifted again...where was I? Oh, the third split. There was the guy on her floor that she had a ridiculous crush on. She even had this blog post about it, I remember reading it at work and going batshit mad. I talked to her about it and she decided that I was becoming just a friend to her. So we decided to be friends. I remember reading that text and not even reacting. I just worked out and didn't feel the urge to call her back. It wasn't like the other times that I wanted to get back by any means possible. I just wanted to go home and take a nap. I called her later though. That was when I discovered that I always avoid confrontation and let her win all the time. And how I always let her have it the way she wanted.
WAIT A FUCKING SECOND, I THOUGHT THAT WAS ME BEING A BOYFRIEND. WHAT THE FUCK???
A couple of nights later, I was DD for a group of friends. I was shit sober and everyone was coupled up so I send her a facebook message about wanting to get back together.
She agreed.
As usual, the fights followed, then the whole cheating incident happened and I finally decided to call it quits.
In a way I feel bad for not giving her chance when she said she'd change and everything would be better. But again, she said that every time we split, she knew we'd get back together because I'm a punk bitch (my words not hers but still the same idea). In other words, I was getting played. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if the crush actually liked her and made a move for her. Would she stay or would she leave? What was more appealing: me or the convenience of the relationship?
I always took each split as my fault. I wasn't being a good boyfriend or I wasn't appreciating her enough. Then there was the whole good guy or bad guy conundrum? Do I do what a good boyfriend should be doing because that's what comes natural and seems rational? Or do I go the bad guy route of imposing my will every time because she, like every other girl, likes the bad guy?
At the end of the day, relationships are just one big fuckery. Maybe we were better as just friends. Friends...something she doesn't want to be with me at this time. I think it is ironic that every time we split, she said we should be "friends" and now that I did the splitting, she refuses my "friendship". So much for BFFs then. I think, this post is becoming too long so I'll stop right here.
i am petty, bitter and vindictive. I hold grudges and i never forget. If you did it to me, best believe i'll get you back. Vengeance is mine, the Lord has better things to do.
So let's understand a couple of things...
Did you cheat on the woman?
Yes, I did.
Did I cheat because she wasn't attractive/good enough?
Hell fucking NO. I cheated because I'm an asshole and it comes with the territory. What is to be understood is that all guys are fucking dickbags and deserve to be exterminated from earth
Notice how you try to spread the blame
Did I break up with her because of the other woman?
Nope.
Then, why did I break up with her?
At first, I suggested we take a break because I didn't feel honest being with her if I couldn't stop myself from cheating again.
I also think it's hilarious that you have a code of ethics despite the shit you did.
I felt i needed a break to figure out what was wrong.
What the fuck are you saying? You are confusing me now. You still hung out with this girl. How in fucks name were you figuring shit out? You, my friend, are full of shit.
Ok, I can take that. I'll be honest now. None of this convoluted bullshit. I broke up with the woman because I was tired of the relationship. I was tired of the fighting and the inane arguments. I was tired of being dumped. I was tired of trying to work things out. I was tired of convincing her it was worth fighting for. I was tired of having panic attacks every time we broke up/ "took a break". Long distance relationships take a whole fucking lot of effort to make it work. And God knows how much I put into this relationship. So don't fucking judge me for getting tired.
All that is no excuse for cheating.
It isn't. I cheated because I wanted to. It was ALL ME. It was going to blow up soon, the fact that I cheated just sped things up.
So technically Nosa cheated.
Ok, Nosa cheated. There are no two ways about it. He could have stopped her but he didn't. He stood there and let it happen. That alone constititutes cheating.
Why would you go see someone that is not your girlfriend at 10 pm?
Why would you still be with said girl at 1 am?
Clearly, nothing good was going to come out of it but Nosa stayed. That's his fucking fault. Nosa deserves the shitstorm that follows. At least he told the woman, I guess he gains one point from the million he lost.
Funny how this follows the friend-gate fiasco. Remember how Nosa got all mad at how grimey the world is?
At the end of the day, you have to realize that all boys are fucking assholes. We just come in different shades and flavors, but assholes all the same.
Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you...yea right.
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